Flight Advice

     I think for my first blog post it’ll be more of an advice column. Here are some things that I learned about taking a 16 hour flight.

1.     Don’t take a 16 hour flight. Ever. 

2.     Surprisingly, United has a plethora of media options to entertain you on that flight that you took in spite of my warning.

3.     However, nothing can entertain you for 16 hours. I challenge you to come up with something that remains fun for that amount of time.

4.      This one isn’t really advice, it’s more of a warning: They dim the lights on long flights so people can sleep. 

5.     With that warning in mind, don’t open the window shutter every five minutes to look out. Nothing has changed. We are still in the air. You’d know if we weren’t. I promise. (Yes, I’m talking to you middle-aged woman sitting next to me repeatedly blinding everyone who has the misfortune of sitting near you.)

6.      On a similar topic, it isn’t really necessary to take selfies on the plane ride. With the flash on. Multiple times. In a dark plane. (Yea, still talking to you Betty White. I’m with a group of teenage college girls and you still took first place in number of selfies taken. Bravo.)

7.     Since you’re on this long flight, I suggest trying to get some sleep. There are many ways to achieve this goal. Some people can naturally fall asleep. Others take lots of meds to do it. Your call. I’m just saying, it looked a lot easier with the meds.

8.     United has music videos of Beyoncé. Nuff said.

9.     I swear to God if you open that shutter one more time…